The Plight of Dressing a "Full Size" human...

OK…so here’s my problem.

I’m a full size human. I have a 48” chest, 17” arms, a size 34/35 waist and I’m not that tall 5’-10” (1778 mm). A true Mesomorph except for being short and stocky.

So how does a guy my size dress…

For the longest time (most of my adult life 20+ years) I’ve hidden my size away with baggy clothes. On occasion I would get brave enough to dawn tight-ish tee’s and slender-ish pants…

But here’s the kicker…I’m not a kid. And I have a hard time with some of the youth driven fashion trends.

So what’s a guy supposed to do?

I’ll tell you what…

Ask a woman to go shopping with you.

It will be inspiring…

But here are some pointers:

·      Be patient. Women are all about developing a look. It’s morphic and will grow and evolve as you try things on.

·      Give yourself time. Women will go back and fourth to the same stores because…well because they insist on DRFT (Doing It Right The First Time). I ‘ll get back to this cuz there is an escape clause in here for woman which I think is humorous.

·      Give yourself more time. Don’t forget to give yourself time for food. But don’t eat too much cuz it will just slow you down.

·      Have lots of change. Parking Meters (do I need to say more)

·      Keep an open mind. If this is someone you trust. And I’m sure it is…Go with it. Have fun with it… The last thing she is going to want to do is dress you like a clown and then hang out with you.

·      Listen…She will inadvertently dole out information. Things “women” are looking for. This is VERY important… It’s like finding the Rosetta stone.

·      Make sure your hygiene is up to par… If you’re lucky your friend will get in the change room with you or at least stand there whilst your dressing yourself…mmmmmmm sexy…LOL

Now back to the DRFT escape clause…

Women will always keep their receipts and never take off the tags until they are 100% satisfied. That means trying things on at different times of the day to account for lighting and body mass changes, and in front of as many mirrors or reflective surfaces as possible…The escape clause goes something like this... "...I had to return it cuz it didn't look right at twilight..." 

Here is the lesson...Keep your receipt and return it if you're not happy. It's ok to return stuff. That's a hard pill to swallow if you're a guy...I know...

But believe me...It's OK...

 

So if nothing else…

Take away this message…

Twice a year, find a female friend and take her shopping.

You’ll love it and look better for it...and she’ll brag to all her friends how she dresses you…

It’s a win/win…