Well...
It's been a while since I've had anything to say. Yea...That's odd isn't
it...LOL
But...In my defense...
I've been a bit occupied.
And for those of you whom don't know...
I've been hanging out (for the past 8 weeks) with an amazing woman.
Anyway...
Enough about me, my fortuitousness, and my lack of blogging discipline.
This posting has to do with my recent long weekend get away with
friends.
Those of you whom know me can comment (and I wish you would)...
I don't seem to have many friends. I'm kinda hard to get to know and I'm
definitely the sort to push boundaries and buttons.
Anyway...
About eight weeks ago I made a conscious decision that I needed to
expand my circle of friends. I audited my resources and decided I would join a
yoga club, join a new gym and also troll the internet for new activity
partners.
Once motivated...the gym and yoga were easy to figure out. But they were
also the most passive means of meeting people. (isn't it odd to think that
being in someone’s presence and making eye contact would be passive). I then
decided to go onto Craigslist and look at the "Strictly Platonic"
personals. It's funny how many people think that graphic description of their
junk combined with a large high definition picture will win them a
"platonic" friend.
After much searching and wading through the scum of the universe, i
found a posting that was simple and genuine and lucid, and just looking to find
new friends...
I responded to the posting...
About a week later a group of strangers met for coffee...
Soon after various activities were suggested and a Facebook page was
created...
As a whole...
The group is exactly what I had hoped it would be.
Accepting.
Diverse.
Intelligent.
Fun.
Until this past long weekend...
Four of us had decided we would go away on the long weekend. I asked my
girlfriend to join us, so we were now a group of five.
We decided we would rent a cabin on the sunshine coast and share all the
expenses.
At some point (I'm not exactly when...another member of the group
decided they now had some funds and would join us. For the sake of this story I
shall refer to this sixth member of the get away group by her new name:
Dementia.
Due to her proximity; We were charged with picking up Dementia.
I had only met Dementia once before. And she seemed nice enough. She
wasn't very attractive, and probably wasn't the type of person I would
generally befriend...But...Beggars cant be choosers...
When i got to her place, I loaded her bags which clamored and clinked
and were obviously weighted by a copious amounts of liquor....
The drive up to the ferry was
uneventful...
We were early and our little
group decided we would grab a bite and a coffee...
When we got to the pub, only two
of us ordered food. Dementia ordered a soda, and to be polite, I offered her
access to my nibbles. Afterwards...Coffee...
And once again....Dementia
abstained from ordering...
I offered to pay...but she
refused...
Once on the ferry...Dementia disappeared.
Oh well...More alone time with my hot girlfriend...LOL
The drive to the cabin was amazing. Nightfall came quickly, as did the
fog and rain. It took some effort, but we made it to the cabin...(and yes...we
went the long way around...[Inside Joke])
The weekend on a whole was incredibly enjoyable. It was filled with laughing,
cooking, eating, hot-tubing, sex (for two of us), lots of inappropriate
conversations (as initialed and propagated by me), activities and drinking… For
the most part, we all contributed to all of the above. However if I were to
break out the level of contribution and inclusion, I’d say all but one of us
was involved in 90% of the weekend activities and tasks. Dementia seemed to be
missing for everything but the eating, drinking and hot-tubing. However… Lest
we forget, how involved she was when she was drunk and making ridiculous
comments about everyone, (especially me).
BTW…
Dementia proclaimed (in one of her drunken stupors) that I was NOT
Italian. In fact I was Portuguese, and needed to be a stand up comedian. She
said one of the guys was disgusting for dating more than one person at a time.
And that she really enjoyed cuddling with other women but found lesbianism
disgusting.
The last day was fraught with packing, cleaning settling up outstanding
tabs, and dividing up all the remaining food and booze. I also tried to bribe
the other car and have them take Dementia. That didn’t work… We planned a
little ahead and packed some of the cooked food in a separate cooler so we
could access it and eat some of the food prepared as opposed to buying
something en-route.
The drive back was great…we actually got to see our surroundings, and
marvel at its beauty. We missed the early ferry and were forced to wait two
hours in queue. Once on the ferry…Once again Dementia evaporated. The rest of
the group all congregated at my vehicle and we proceeded to have a tailgate
party. We were all enjoying ourselves, when it was suggested that we access
some cakes that had been brought back by Dementia….
I felt guilty…but that didn’t stop me or anyone else from eating the delectable
confections.
Moments before docking and unloading Dementia returned to my vehicle
none the wiser of our picnic. We proceeded to make our way back into the city.
We tried to initiate some small talk and even tried to engage Dementia with a
Muppet Movie comment, which resulted in her calling me a Portuguese
Beaker…LOL…WTF. Anyway…The entire ride home Dementia was emitting heavy sighs
of displeasure…
About forty minutes after docking I dropped off my girlfriend, and then
began the arduous thirty minute trek to Dementia’s, without my buffer. I
drowned out her sighs with the radio…
I was happy to drop her off, a little sad about her finding out that we
had eaten some of her treats. She didn’t deserve that…But being a newly minted
Portuguese Muppet comedian all I could do was shake my head and chuckle whilst
awaiting the incorrigible karmic heckling of Statler and Waldorf from their box
seats in the sky...
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