I
have changed the names locations and catch phrases in order to protect the
identities of those included in this posting. Resemblance to any persons alive
or dead (mmmmmm…dead girls are squishy…LOL) is purely coincidental…
We’ve
already established that I’m stupid…
And
neurotic, and well…lets call a spade a spade…
I’m an
asshole.
But if it
makes any sense…I’m a cute cuddly asshole. Who for the most part goes through
life trying to apply the golden rule. “…Do onto others before they do onto
you…” Ha! Just Kidding… “It’s not you…It’s me…”
Whatever…
OK…I
don’t live by any rules. I just stumble through life and try and connect with
people and not get too hurt in the process.
Actually
that too is a lie…Cuz, I think I do have some rules.
The
simple fact is that we all (whether we admit it or not) have rules…
Here are
some of my rules (relationship and other):
·
I
can’t leave the house without having looked in the mirror.
·
I
have to leave the house before noon or else I say home all day.
·
I
drink water from a clear glass, never a mug or totally obscure vessel.
·
Breaking
up can be done via text or email.
·
I
can’t break wind around people (except my kids).
·
I
can’t wear white pants after Labour Day.
·
If a
woman hits my arm…sex is guaranteed.
·
Special
things are for special people NOT special days.
·
No
sex with friends if they are involved with people.
Lately
I’ve
come across a few rules that others have applied and that have perplexed me…
·
Never lick a steak knife.
·
I only date for about two weeks…then
it either gets serious or I dump him/her
·
You can’t break up via text or
email.
·
Don't make a scene.
·
You should feel embarrassed if you
have a skill set that sets you apart.
·
I don’t have sex on the first date
cuz I have to guard my honour.
Here
is a doozy…
·
I
like you too much… That’s why I wont have sex with you.
I
would love to get some feedback…
Tell
me some of your rules.
Ciao
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