The
silly titles will make more sense in a few minutes…
This
post is about my stupid relationships again…
At the
moment there are four women in my life.
1. Lisa, whom has very quickly risen to the
illustrious plateau of best friend and confidant. There are very few humans
that can tolerate me, and even fewer that are witty, urbane and confident
enough to let me be me, and do my thing.
I’m going to write another post later about our
shopping escapades. But I have to memorialize our leather jacket experience.
The other day Lisa and I (at my behest) went
shopping for a jacket. I needed a new trendy(ish) leather jacket. My first
thought was vintage biker. So after grabbing some food and getting my hair cut,
we went into some consignment shops on the Drive. Nothing!
We then figured that going downtown would
provide us with a better result. We first went to Danier Leather. There we
found a nice typical leather jacket that fit and would fill my needs. But in
truth it was unremarkable. As we were leaving (without purchasing the jacket)
Lisa and I spot an orange mass.
Now I have to try and illustrate what I saw
next…
Lisa gets this look when we go shopping…
The look and the size of her eyes and the
distance between her upper and lower lips is proportionate to how bizarre the
fashion is and how excited I become…
I also have to explain the look is most
definitely fear. But not because she’s afraid the garment is ugly…its more a
case of being fearful she’ll love the item when I wear it.
So Lisa and I are now standing in front of an
orange waist cut leather jacket. Lisa began to mouth the words NO, and shake
her head…
Too late…I had to try it on…
It fit perfectly…
I stood in front of the mirror and I said out
loud to Lisa that it was sooooooo reminiscent of a jacket that my studly
bachelor uncle wore in the 70’s. Just that thought moved me, and I began to dance.
Just then an older couple (maybe in their 60’s) walked past and he touted:
“…don’t make fun of old people…”
Heeeeeeeeeey….I’m allowed to make fun of old
people… I’m OLD!
I took the jacket off (not before I embarrassed
Lisa a bit by dancing up to her) and we went to Boy’s Co.
In Boy’s Co. we tried on several jackets when
the sales guy helping us says; “…I’ve got this jacket, its different…it will
take a special kinda guy to carry it off…”
I felt like a samurai squaring off with an
opponent, or a dualist pacing away from my opponent with my flintlock pistol in
hand.
Lisa had that look of fear… O… M… G…
its purple!
I was a true Ronin…a master dualist!
I rocked that jacket…
And once again I did my little dance…LOL
Its just too bad it was over a thousand
dollars…I had to say no…
BTW…Lisa, I know you’re reading this… I want
you to know I love ya!
2.
The next
woman in my list is my ex wife. She just stresses the shit outa me…Nuff Said!
3.
Then
there is this amazing woman I’ve dated a few times. She’s an English teacher
and soooooooo much more…
She’s smarter than me. Which when all is said
and done, doesn’t amount to much cuz I’m an idiot…LOL
4.
Finally
we have Liz…
Liz and I are friends.
She has this ability to make me feel squishy
inside. She doesn’t feel the same way.
Obviously I was living in denial. So, in order
to move forward with other more mature and mutually fulfilling relationships I’ve
decided to un-friend her. This is my first attempt at friendship euthanasia…
(BTW…I hope you caught my clever word play from the title…OK…maybe not so
clever…But I thought it was funny.)
I’ll let you all know how it goes…
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